Christina Schmelling wrote:

> I am great just going through a bit of insomnia.



*nod* Must be hard. I'm going trough quite some exchange of very happy

and very sad feelings. There are quite some happy things happening to me

and after all, next week, April 8th is my birthsday. But it's just

haunting me, every good thing that happened to me so far was almost

immediately followed by something very bad. I am somehow afraid to

experience happiness ATM, I can feel something bad is comming at me. 



I just wish this constant waving of good and evil would spare you...



> > I guess you have been mailing to Robert a bit lately, what do you

> > think?

> 

> I do not know.  I have not written him for a while and he has not

> answered the email about the baby thing yet soooooooo.......I know he

> is busy but I am unsure weather he is completly back from the planet

> he was on or not.



I wish I had your strenght. His behaviour just keeps stabing me in the

heart. This whole thing just got me soooo depressed. I feel like I can't

rely on him anymore, he seems selfish to me, like he would stick to me

only while I'm the one to carry his burden and then just plain run away

when I'm the one that would need a friendly word or two... and it's just

such little things and he openly refused... I've heard such a variety of

excuses so far... 



It helps me to know I can rely on you tho Chrissy, I love you, I'll

never let you go.



> I decided to not do that favor for my friend because personally I cant

> afford another kid even though they can afford it.  Also it would be

> fairly uncomfortable dealing with well the makeing of the baby

> part...................



Ok. I hope that didn't hurt them or anything.



> You would not be bothering me honey.  I miss hearing from you as often

> as I used to.

> 

> I am just enjoying this rainy Friday night I am catching up on my

> emails and listening to my walk man Im very happy the only thing that

> would make me happier is to have you to curl up next to.



I've been feeling you so strongly, yes curling up next to you. Maybe you

were thinking of it lots when you wrote it. This morning, I've just felt

I'd need to hold to something white and fuzzy, prefferably a Christina.



I love you, take care.



-- 

I could run like the wind just to be with you.



			Observer aka DustWolf aka CyberLegend aka Jure Sah



C'ya!



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