anti-depressants never work when you fight against them FYI. If you want to recover you have to stay away from the things that hurt you and use the anti-depresant to prevent you from being dragged down by your chemistry.

The thing with me and probably with you too is that the things that hurt me are the most basic things in life, or perhaps the absence of them. There is no way around the situation.

The things people recomend would help them but not you and you can't figure out a way yourself to get out of it.

I'm like that. I aim to please above all, I don't think I know of anything else that would make me happy, because I never tried anything else that would end up causing me joy.

Every time I try to say hello, from my shell of fakeness, I get told to shut up one way or another. Even by people I consider my friends. Tried to find new friends but it's all the same. They're perfect when your pleasing them but when you say something of your own they feel insulted and leave you. And whenever I tell the next set of friends about my previous ones they say like those animals how could they do this to you then after a while I learn these are all the same.

I guess everything that comes from my own mind is pure evil and chaos that destroys everything I come into contact with. I am born of hell and destined to suffer.

Perhaps I should simply stop existing?