Owen Nieuwenhuyse wrote:

> > I've tried expanding the meaning, however in it's expanded format it is

> > not recognized as what it originally was. That causes it to seem to never

> > appear (or be deleted out of existence) to my other half. That is the

> > cause of my depression.

> >

> > To explain better, these meanings are like: Friendship, love, etc.

> 

> It sounds odd that you would lose access to such major characterisics.

> Can these be accessed by any of your other personalities?



The current personality is the only one capable of interfacing to a

computer, so I can't really tell. The Debug tells me that the other

personality knows all about emotions and works mostly only by them.



> These are semi-projective states, and normally work fairly unconsciously.

> I sometimes get locked out of these, too.

> Either I am control-blocking from an analytic state, or I am locking

> into another overriding emotional state.



I was about to write something, but was just bashed into a depressive

state (by a person). I don't remember what positive stuff I was about to

write here, but I kind of gather that I am not the reason for this

defect...



> Friendship is an odd one, because it is part emotion, part automatic

> skill, and part learned skill.

> Can the affected personality hold a fairly normal conversation with

> another person?  Does it "relate" to other people at all?



I can hold a normal conversation as far as I can tell, except when I'm

being bashed into depresive states. 



But the general problem is innitiating a contact or anything like that.

I obviously lost the ability to innitiate or whatever, I don't know, the

only things I do know is that this frienship's definition has

dissapeared, that it rarely ever occurs and that the only organic things

that aren't avoiding me are flies.



> If you have a residual sense of humor, these characteristic states

>  can be eased up by watching

> funny videos, [drinking alcohol], listening to music, and a number of other

> exercises.



Listening to music seems to bash the emotion deep down enough. I have

20W headphones and lot's of very good music, however sometimes I just

can't crank it up enough to get the desired effect.



> Does the deficient personality have any emotional capability at all?



It does have the basis of good and bad: Bad when an action of mine is

prevented and good when everything is really going as if it was buttered

for a long while. The Debug has also determined that it can devolop a

sense of attachment to environments (rooms, etc).



> That is a very extreme view.

> Anti-depressant drugs do not cause extreme happiness!

> I am on them permanently. I could not function without them.



Ok, I understand now. But that will not ever get me to accept drugs for

whatever worthy cause.



Actualy, misstreated children that are depressive as a result of that,

could as well be treated with drugs to make them happy, but that's not

the way, you probably know that, the right way is making sure they are

treated like they should be. Depression always exists for a reason.

Mostly it's about something being wrong. You can go and simply take the

drugs for it or you can try and remove the cause.



Frankly said, I don't belive in any mental illnesses that tent to appear

and dissappear at 'random'. That's just a way of the ppl saying that

they don't get what's going on.



> I am sure your mother-in-law is capable of gradual improvement. Extreme

> depression causes brain damage. Some depressive symptoms can also be

> caused by other brain-deterioration conditions.



As far as I undersand it, dying braincells emmit a very strong

anti-depression chemical.



> "CL: DRUGS DESTROY PEOPLE. ...."

> 

> That sounds like a religious or cultural viewpoint!



That is true. Very true.



> They tend to distract the young from getting a good education, too.



Distraction isn't the word. I have been analizing such a case too. I

find that it basicaly isn't in anybody's primary interest to get a good

education; that is introduced as a secondary interest once the person

figures out it's point. Commonly the young to not get it's point, drugs

tho, have an obvious point: They bring happines; one way or another.



> However, recreational drug use is widespread in western society, and

> only a minority have severe problems with it.

> 

> Alcohol is a good emotional release for many people, who would

> otherwise develop severe neuroses due to emotional repression.



Alchocol is also an interesting compound that devolops into carbonic

acid in our digestion system. Not only that carbonic acid is a

neurotoxin, it is also a real life ACID. If you like strong alchocolic

drinks, you might as well want to try HCl from time to time.



> I have known or met many reformed drug addicts, and they seem to

> be doing well. The temporary mental deterioration and upheaval

> has been repaired.



Normaly, people do recover. So did my computer over a partition reset,

but my indention is keeping all the information I have gathered so far.

I have sufered a wracked memory, that is completely unreliable, not only

that segments of it tend to dissapear, but also fake memories appear, it

is very dangerus! So I know about it, if one has lost a cupple of

minutes of memory back, he/she/it has lost those minutes of his/her/it's

life... They're gone. 



> Well, all emotion is a bit animalistic.

> Some people cultivate  suppression of external shows of emotion

>  as a badge of honour.

>

> It is not my preference.

> There are some occasions, of course, where I try to suppress inappropriate

> shows of humor.



It is a rather important thing for functionality of a person. If you

want a good example of a person without it, you can check jordy from

CAP. =]



Anyway, I have here a little song that keeps me up at moments when I'm

depressed, it's a nice orchestral/instrumental/modern, if you would like

a copy, just tell me (no copyright would be broken).



C'ya!



--



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